Over the past few years, I’ve discovered a "rule" that has transformed my closest relationships—whether in intimate partnerships, business collaborations, or other forms of shared effort. I call it the 60/40 Rule.

We’ve all heard the classic question: “If you only had one day left to live, what would you do?” It’s a powerful way to clarify what matters most here and now. But recently, another question came to mind, one that might be even more revealing.

“If you knew you could live healthily forever, with all your needs met and no pressure to be productive, what would you pursue in life?”

Stepping into the world as our true selves can be intimidating—but it’s exactly what the world needs. When we uncover and embrace our most authentic selves, we bring our full potential—all our strengths, vulnerabilities, and capacities—into play.

Ever feel like the harder you work on yourself, the further you get from feeling free?

Self-improvement is a noble pursuit. We're driven to grow, evolve, and become the best versions of ourselves. But what happens when this journey starts feeling more like a cage than a path to freedom?

Throughout life, we unconsciously enter into unspoken agreements—contracts that shape how we live, what we believe, and how we engage with others. These contracts slip into place without us realizing, shaped by societal norms, family expectations, and past choices. They quietly dictate who we are allowed to be and the roles we take on in the world.

As you grow and evolve, do you feel that certain relationships no longer align with who you’re becoming? This realization can be one of the most challenging aspects of personal growth, often bringing feelings of loss, confusion, and guilt. I’ve experienced this many times on my own journey, and I’ve come to see that outgrowing relationships is actually a vital sign of evolution.

You know how sometimes it feels like you’re just going through the motions? Like you’re living on the surface of your own life, doing what needs to be done but not really feeling connected to it—or even to yourself? I’ve been there. Honestly, I spent most of my life feeling that way, even after years of personal development and mindfulness meditation.

Let’s face it, stress and anxiety can creep up on you at any moment, even if you have years or even decades of experience of inner work. Whether it’s a big upcoming deadline, a tough decision, or just everyday life, sometimes it feels like the pressure never lets up. I for sure know that experience.